love note; you

I died at the age of 20. Mentally ripped, emotionally torn as i was left dying alone throughout that year. 

I then promised to make myself happy no matter what, even if it will kill me again. Because at least, if i could not die happily, my death would be a worth of trying; to be happy.

And thankfully i was reborn right after. 

21 has been very kind to me. Magical, even. I was the very most happiest kid i have ever lived. Opportunities kept on passing through me, and i had a very blissful birthday too. 

I realized that the world now seems to be tilting a bit but hey, life is not going to be all rainbows, remember? I am still growing and 22 is doing good to me so far. I understand that this year will not be the same as the last one, but at least i started my 2020 with things that i least expected. And Lillah, i have no regrets on any decisions that i have made because based on what i have been through just at the beginning of this year, i believe that i am doing just as good as i was the year before.

But shockingly on my messed up mind i sometimes think that, was i really died on that day and decided to start a new life right after, or was i just living the same life, but now with a different perspective. Because i am not the same person as i was two years back. And if it is about the perspective, i am glad it happened and i don't want to turn back. Life is hard, i know, and it's okay, as long as it is not miserable. 

Love you mi, take care.