Notes

 Went through one of my notes and found this one writing from last year that I feel like dumping it here; a situation where I was pretending to be very heartbroken over a fictional character but the emotions were too strong it's a waste to let it go unnoticed. 

It said:

It's the thought of you that sends me to sleep,

that replaces our never happened wishes,

that meddle between my works,

and that every damn time making me scream to shut my mind up.

'You never asked' is what I told myself

every time my mind argues with my soul
when I chose not to choose you

About how my days went,

my work struggles,

my declining health, my hospitalized and discharged days,

nonchalant.

So tell me,

why do I have to choose you,

when I think that it is you who was cherry picking all this while.

Tell me, 

why do I have to make you the only,

when I never even fit in your options.

these days I thought my bars are high enough but looking at you,

I see that they are beyond ground,

it confuses me of why I still let myself deal with something this low 

when it should be ditched long ago, the second I felt it.