Some day last week marked the day of the list of trips that I have been dreaming of going since I was in school.
As they have to plan those trips super early so this said trip will be 2 weeks long, with one and a half year to go. Which made us hesitant to say yes to their invitation because anything could happen within that timeline.
But my heart screams so loud I could not sleep nor live in peace for days because the opportunity is already shoved in front of our faces and we turned them down. We turned. Them. Down.
I still cried to this day for making such decision with tiny hope that He knows best and we will be provided with such opportunity in future. But deep down I still want to go. On the offered dates.
I feel like I'm being selfish and inconsiderate for keep bringing this topic to my partner whenever I got some glimpse of thoughts, but I just couldn't help myself because I really truly want to go.
We even tried to opt for other trips we couold go that will not take that much of time but in the end, I still feel like it's useless if we keep on trying to distract our minds somewhere else where all I ever wanted to go is that very one place. To see that very one phenomenon. The very one situation that only created by truly one and only God. That only exist in very few places and could be seen at very limited time.
Well..
I lied I actually do not have tiny hopes.
My hopes are high. Higher that anyone could ever imagine, to be fair.
I would cry over and over again if this situation repeats itself near future.